sameyeam37

i went to my parents room to grab a bowl from my dad's stash and on my way out i ran into the door.... karma? yes. but it's a small price to pay for a bowl ;)

weeeeell, i did shrooms last night. good idea, bad location. i didn't like the girl who's house we were at and the whole night she kept asking me what i was seeing... i just wanted to be all "haven't you ever goomed b4?!?!? don't you know that i seirously can't talk to you right now?!?!?!" and then curtis was tripping me out too. i fucking hated him one second then the next second i could tolerate him... then he started talking to me and i was just over it again and just walked away with him still talking to me. but they all left to go get food so jake and i watched tv and a fucking pink floyd concert was on... god damn that was amazing! and don't ever watch south park while shrooming... cuz it just pisses you off. all in all it was pretty chill, jake and i kept saying "we arn't just gonna walk off!" and we did... like 3 times hahaha, we went to the skool and layed in the grass and tripped on the clouds... if only it weren't so cold.

haha... no one makes me laugh like you guys, my old friends, my best friends. no one knows as much as you, my girlfriends, my true friends. i didn't realize how much i missed you, till i saw you. and now i'm looking back at all the pictures and i'm crying, cuz i love you. we always say we'll call eachother and we don't, and it's sad. but maybe this time when i pick up the phone you'll answer, and you'll be free to chill. i could care less about how much we've all grow cuz i miss you, and i love you. and still to this day when people ask me what i think of you, i cannot say... because it's unbelievable how much i still need you and how long it's been since i've seen you.

[Verse 1]
I took ur picture, with one particluar reason and its to capture ur character,
I like to sit and stare at 'cha
Aint nothin wrong with starin at cha
Girl don't be scared at the fact that i envison us getting married and i ain't tryin to rush nuttin
Cuz i aint rushin
It'll take a time like, "whats them things that move slow you knowthem...damn..i cant think cuz u on my mind..."
And when u on my mindi cant find anything to ryhme with ryhme
I gotta ryhme ryhme with mixture
And speakin of mixture
With u i wanna get mixed up
Im like a record and ur like a record
So lets let the DJ mix us
Ur like an elixir
Thats got me tipsy,
This is just like ripplets
Believe it or not girl but i love you

[chorus]
Girl u really got me goin
Outta control
I dot know what im doin
Lets let it go
And do what we do best
Take off our clothes
We look better undressed

[Bridge-repeat 2x]
Lets get sexy
Lets get sexy
Sounds so good
Sounds so good
Fightin' is rightin'
Fightin' is rightin'
Lets get sexy
Its so much more exciting

[Verse 2]
For you im a fanatic
Im a addict
Ur sexy antics turn me on like automatic
No need to get dramatic
But i gotta have it
(gimme gimme gimme gimme)
Gimme some of them sexual acrobatics
Kama sutra girl, anything that suits you girl
Stuff u aint used to girl
Come over here and let me show you just how we will do it
Im a freak and u knew it
Ur a freak and i knew it
Baby lets get to it

[chorus]

Its called the S E X X X X
(YES YES YES)

[Verse 3]
U take me to ecstasy
Witout takin ecstasty
Its exactly like ecstasy
When u layin right next to me
Im sexin' u
Sexin u
U sexin me
Sexin me
Its feels so damn natural
Wut we doin so naturally
Im likin u rubbin' me
And u likin me rubbin' u
Da passions emaculate
While u lovin me lovin u
I put L-O-V-E in you i love me puttin me in you
Make love to you
Just like Sergio Mendez play piano

it was a goooood night ^_^ i stayed fucked up for a good 12-13 hours haha

so my day went nicely... curtis took me out to dinner and we hung out by the beach and talked about the stars n shit. haha i got this really cute/lame poem and a few kisses. maybe this holiday is bullshit... but at least i got a free meal and to tell all the whores(his fucking fan club or some shit) at school that i'm more important then they are ^_^

it's gonna be alll right ^_^

i. am. happy.

..>..>

Your Kissing Purity Score: 23% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk. You're in a permanent lip lock.

so last night i had a dream that i was on E. it was freaking amazing, i was the only one but i had a shit load of friends with me and we were walking around and there were fireworks and lightshows in the sky and i was in love with everyone and i was making out with people and i woke up in the most amazing mood ever and yea... haha, i miss sam and brook, she coming back at the end of this month ^_^ EPIC JOURNEY!!!!!!!! woop woop!

life sucks and don't you dare tell me other wise

ok so.... i don't remember how it started but i stole my parents car or something... and then i was "on the lamb" haha. yea... i ran out of a gas station and jumped into the van and was all "KEVIN! GO!" and he was all "SAM! HELL NO!" and i was all "IF I'M GETTING IN TROUBLE THEN YOU ARE TOO!" and so he yelled fuck and took off. everyone was looking for me and i had a few friends trying to help me but finally i ended up hoping all these fences with jake cuz people were chasing us and he was trying to help me hide but finally they found us and he told me he loved me and he'd wait for me. as the cops were taking me away someone gave me 2 red doves (amazing E pillz cuz with heroin) and a key to get out of jail. i gave adrain the pills to hold onto for me till i got out and i was looking for someone to give the key so they could sneak it into me but i never did. then about a year later(i don't really know for sure) i was out of jail and back at school and i didn't know a lot of people but i kept running into people i used to know and i was crying as i gave them hugs(no one really specific). then i was at disneyland and i was somewhat of a hero but all i was doing was looking for jake. finally i found him at the top of this really high bridge... he was suppost to be working but idk... it didn't look anything like jake and i don't even think it was him anymore but i found the guy that "loved" me. so we see eachother and just can't even wait. we start doing it... on this rope bridge... like 100 ft up... and we're swinging, literally haha. then we're in this room and this ugly bitch... a lil fatter then me... sits on the bed and she's all talking about past relationships with him and i'm just trying to get him to be with me but he's really distracted by something... and my dream ends with "why won't you just hold me? do you know how long it's been since you've held me??" and i'm crying...


somewhere in the dream, i guess a lil after we're doing it, we're at dinner and sandy's there and i don't know what were talking about but i say "how long have i been in jail?" and she gives me this look like i'm a moron like "you weren't in a coma dumbass" but then i just look at her and say "what? the movie never says." ... so it was a movie? idk...

i got suspended today for having a pipe on me... my dad gave me a pack of ciggs and i got to watch curtis flirt with the dumb blondes... i needa new life.

so he asked me to be his valentine... but i felt like it was out of guilt (since i had been bitching about it the day b4) so i told him to ask me again later... when we didn't just finish doing it. it's funny how i know that would happen. i go to texas... he says he misses the fuck outta me... he flirts non stop, makes sure we hang out first day i get home(my grandma died...)... kisses me... one thing leads to another, the next day he's back to acting like i don't exsist and everythings back to normal... at first i seirously regreted it... but it's better this way... see how honest he was about the nice things he said... which, of course, was not at all. i didn't need him leading me on with his word... they were too nice to hear

:) just smile... and everything will turn out fine.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! i had a dream last night that i just bought a sack and i was going home... then i woke up... and i was REALLY fucking pissed! cuz i just wanna use my zong and raid my own kitchen u know? ugh, i need another job.

i got lots of sleep today and skipped out on school ^_^ i'm listening to world/inferno and i'm kinda in a good mood, i'm actually smiling haha


peace n love♥, sam

hit the mother fucking 5 footer last night! somehow i walked home cuz that shit IS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET! and ate (no joke)three times and passed the FUCK out hahahaha.

i'm sooooo far beyond myspace, it's not even funny. i just keep staring at his profile thinking that maybe.. just maybe... he'll call... it'll be about 2 days late... but it's just what i keep thinking... if only i could controll what i think... god dammit!

so yea, when he's drunk and going after some homeless emo bitch that pretty much means he was just being a skank the other night right? like he doens't like you, he just wants in your pants... it's was pretty dumb to think we could ever be together... no matter what... ever...

yea, i was perfectly fine till he came alone, set in my ways with a good thing going... then he showed me what i thought i "really" wanted... and then left... THEN CAME BACK... and left again... the sad thing... is i was actaully BETTER after the first time he left... besides the fact that i wasn't getting laid(that sucked!)... but then he came back... and i was still fine... then he left... and fucked me up pretty damn good

it's not that this truly bugs me enough to tell you all this (those of you who still actually read this). i just wanna get this shit off my back. i wanna call him and tell him he's an asshole and that shit's gonna catch up to him.... but he would care... or listen... or prolly even pick up

...he gets drunk and he gets stupid and it's the kind of thing where they could have just spit in ur face and you'd have gotten the same kinda of "oh god i wish i didn't just see that" feeling in ur stomach

why were we all so happy last year? we knew that the relationships weren't so great but fuck dude... they were relationships... and as awesomes as it WASN'T sometimes... they were still there, they still cared... you could still fall asleep in their arms(even if they didn't fall asleep in urs)...

it makes me wonder... did i give up something really nice... or just let something seriously depressing fade away?

i don't like things that make me think too much... and those two things make me think waaaay too much... i guess that why i loveeee bud :)


ugh, i didn't mean to date him again.... i was drunk... i thought it was just for that night... but... how do you say no to an opperitunity like that? ESPACILLY WHEN UR DRUNK?!?! w/e it's done....


think it's too late to call?

ugh, the truth's a bitch but i'm glad i finally found someone who would tell it to me.... what the fuck r u suppost to do when you like this super cute guy but he's a dumbass who totally likes you and dosn't know how to control himself at parties? i suppose you party with him, eh? naw, i'd rather not be his drunken love... or maybe i would?

everything is so new this year, i didn't want to move but it feels like i have

-new job
-new school
-some new friends
-almost new boyfriend (i have no idea what's going on there)

and hopfully i'll have a new living arrangment cuz god know's i'm fucking over this one.

i hung out w/ curtis yesterday and richard today... but b4 that, life sucked. on monday i thought i was gonna chill w/ richard but kevin was home and wasn't leaving so that fell through but i knew i was gonna chill w/ curtis so i was like w/e. i was really confuse tho, i was all "curtis is so totally there and i think he kinda likes me but richard is being cute and i wish i didn't have to chose" yesterday when i hung out w/ curtis i started to like him more which made me even more effy about being w/ richard but i hung out w/ him today anyways. i realized something today after he left tho... i could spend forever waiting for him but only ever have the tiniest part of him (not like any part of him is tiny or anything :D lol) and not like i know for sure that curtis likes me... but at least it's going somewhere...

my parents are finally getting divorced... in my dad's words "we can all go on with our merry way" in mine, "the nightmare is over" haha, but it's just kinda starting.. it's kool tho, i'm really happy about the shit that's going on in my like.

flirting w/ (hot stoner)boys
seeing my dad somewhat happy
THE NEW FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and all the lovley parties ^_^

and btw... i'm almost caught up in skool... just by being there ^_^

there's some pretty gay shit going on latly... when i'm working i don't have enough time for my friends. when i'm not, no one actully picks up there phones or i have no way of getting to them or lydia complains or i DO get to chill w/ them and it turns out their douches.... not reffering to anypeople in particular... oh wait... yea i am.

so whats up w/ people who say they'll call but don't?

my ticket for nocturnal wonderland came yesterday... be jealous *evil smile*

last night was interesting, i didn't want to be alone so i had nicole come over after work then dan jen and mia showed up after about 1 or 2 in the morning, mia got way sick, so i spent most of my night helping her... reasons why i don't drink... then we smoked a lot (just cigs)and almost got ran over... then we moved to the living room and passed out....

i was texting richard last night too, almost convinced him to come over... so close... what r the odds that it would have started to rain during summer and made me want to call him and that he JUST SO HAPPEN to ALSO be awake? ha

all i know is that i HAVE to stay single for nocturnal... no matter what! not like that'll be hard haha

as usual... as always... sandy's being a HUGE douche.... fuck her then let her be a bitch, her birthday's coming up soon, maybe it'll make her see how many friends she DOESN'T have... by that i mean all she'll have... all she has is pedro... who is now ALSO a douche... and nicole... who needs to open her eyes and see that sandy's NEVER nice to her

i got nik a job at moviemax... yep... good job sam

in the past week i've only smoked weed twice... can you believe it? i just now realized how fucking lame reality really is

i caught lydia cheating on my dad... with my own eyes this time... like it matters right? fuck her, she'll burn in hell when her time comes... or i'll just shot her in the face when i get all rich and what not

alright, thank you if ur STILL reading this... i love you all <3

... richard is a fucking sexy beast... and yes, that IS all the new shit in my life ^_^

soooo sam had an extremly nice 4th of july... i got invited to do WAAAAY too much fun stuff that i just HAAAD to call in sick ^_^

the beach was nice... so was the funnle cake... i think i even got a lil tan... richard was lookin' mighty fine today... i had a first today also... kissing under the fireworks ^_^... it was way nice...

it's nice to feel so wanted like that... never had that before... not really anyways...

so yea, i still think relationships suck but i'm not AS bitter anymore... and that's all i ever wanted haha

... it feels like way more happend today... maybe all the cute flirting shit made me tired... ^_^(sorry, can't help but smile)

i love you all <3 be good(not) and have fun!